What is an adult?
I don't feel like an adult but technically I am one. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I keep having to ask my parents things I thought I would have known by now. And it is starting to scare me because my parents won't be around forever (no matter how hard I try to make that happen). How do they seem to have the answer to every freaking question I have and when am I going to be all knowing like they are?? My parents are just geniuses and I love them so. I have no idea how to fill out insurance forms at a doctor's office. I don't know how you go about knowing when your car needs to go in to be inspected. I don't know how to cook more than about three meals and box cake and brownie mixes (what do you buy when grocery shopping? I usually just come home with chocolate). I only figured out how to pay my credit card off because my mom taught me and basically set it up for me. I don't know how to do my taxes (seriously, having two accountant parents was pretty lucky on my part). I have no idea what my parents are talking about when they are telling me about stocks I own.
When I imagine myself getting older I always imagine myself taller. It's still a bit disappointing that I'll never be taller than this. I'm not sure why I'm still in denial, I haven't grown since I was probably 14, but still. I still live at home, I don't know what it is like to have big monthly bills. I mean, I don't pay for anything because I'm spoiled and my parents are nice and they love me. What am I going to do when I finally graduate? Am I supposed to move out? Do I go get married to the first guy that'll have me? How the hell do I budget my money? When am I supposed to have it all figured out? WHY should I have it all figured out?
I want to graduate soooo bad, but then when I graduate and I am no longer a student, I am expected to be a full-time adult. If that means just going to work all day every day, I guess I can manage since I do it anyway. But what does being a real, functioning adult entail? As more and more of my friends (acquaintances more often than not) are getting married, I am starting to feel like I'm falling behind in the whole adult thing. This is incredibly frustrating because I DON'T want to get married for a very long time. And if any of these people getting married were/are like me, do their parents keep paying for their things even though they are married? Or do their parents dump all their monthly bills on them and say "Good luck!"? I'm not saying it's a bad idea for people my age to get married, it's just not for me. You do you, I'll do me. Unmarried without children is definitely me.
The most ridiculous part of this whole thing (I have no idea what this "thing" is, it's not really a problem, sooooo it's just a thing) is that I have lived on my own (although I still did not have monthly bills except for my phone, which was ridiculously cheap. T-Mobile UK, you're great) in a foreign country and I STILL don't know what I am going to do. Can't I just continue being a kid, but like not go to school? That'd be great. This is completely random and I'm really just putting off homework (I know, it's shocking. Me? Not doing homework? Never would have guessed) and most likely none of this will make sense to anyone but me.
Random update: I dropped my English minor. NO MORE VICTORIAN LITERATURE AFTER THIS SEMESTER. PRAISE JESUS. This is also the one-year anniversary of the I'll-bake-a-cake-instead-of-going-to-the-gym-and-give-myself-salmonella fiasco last year. I had a good laugh about that one. Don't eat raw eggs, you will get sick and you will wish you were dead. Also, the crush I mentioned a couple weeks ago (was it really that long ago??) is fading and a new one is developing. I feel like I'm 13 again hahaha. HOW is it almost March??? 2015 is going sooooo fast and I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Alright. I better go read "Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass" since that's what we are discussing in class tomorrow morning. Is it the weekend yet? This weekend is going to be a good one.
I just looked over this and I apologise for my overuse use of CAPS LOCK, italics, and the word "sooooooo." I'm too lazy to change any of it, so deal.
I hope you're all doing well. Let me know if you answers to any of these questions. I'll make you a cake or something.
<3 Jes(s)
I can't decide if I feel like a one-s Jes or a two-s Jess today.
When I imagine myself getting older I always imagine myself taller. It's still a bit disappointing that I'll never be taller than this. I'm not sure why I'm still in denial, I haven't grown since I was probably 14, but still. I still live at home, I don't know what it is like to have big monthly bills. I mean, I don't pay for anything because I'm spoiled and my parents are nice and they love me. What am I going to do when I finally graduate? Am I supposed to move out? Do I go get married to the first guy that'll have me? How the hell do I budget my money? When am I supposed to have it all figured out? WHY should I have it all figured out?
I want to graduate soooo bad, but then when I graduate and I am no longer a student, I am expected to be a full-time adult. If that means just going to work all day every day, I guess I can manage since I do it anyway. But what does being a real, functioning adult entail? As more and more of my friends (acquaintances more often than not) are getting married, I am starting to feel like I'm falling behind in the whole adult thing. This is incredibly frustrating because I DON'T want to get married for a very long time. And if any of these people getting married were/are like me, do their parents keep paying for their things even though they are married? Or do their parents dump all their monthly bills on them and say "Good luck!"? I'm not saying it's a bad idea for people my age to get married, it's just not for me. You do you, I'll do me. Unmarried without children is definitely me.
The most ridiculous part of this whole thing (I have no idea what this "thing" is, it's not really a problem, sooooo it's just a thing) is that I have lived on my own (although I still did not have monthly bills except for my phone, which was ridiculously cheap. T-Mobile UK, you're great) in a foreign country and I STILL don't know what I am going to do. Can't I just continue being a kid, but like not go to school? That'd be great. This is completely random and I'm really just putting off homework (I know, it's shocking. Me? Not doing homework? Never would have guessed) and most likely none of this will make sense to anyone but me.
Random update: I dropped my English minor. NO MORE VICTORIAN LITERATURE AFTER THIS SEMESTER. PRAISE JESUS. This is also the one-year anniversary of the I'll-bake-a-cake-instead-of-going-to-the-gym-and-give-myself-salmonella fiasco last year. I had a good laugh about that one. Don't eat raw eggs, you will get sick and you will wish you were dead. Also, the crush I mentioned a couple weeks ago (was it really that long ago??) is fading and a new one is developing. I feel like I'm 13 again hahaha. HOW is it almost March??? 2015 is going sooooo fast and I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Alright. I better go read "Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass" since that's what we are discussing in class tomorrow morning. Is it the weekend yet? This weekend is going to be a good one.
I just looked over this and I apologise for my overuse use of CAPS LOCK, italics, and the word "sooooooo." I'm too lazy to change any of it, so deal.
I hope you're all doing well. Let me know if you answers to any of these questions. I'll make you a cake or something.
<3 Jes(s)
I can't decide if I feel like a one-s Jes or a two-s Jess today.
Comments
Post a Comment